Here. There. Gravity. Freedom. Likes and Lies. I love being home around my family and best friends, new meetings, and old loves. My heart is full and happy. It makes me wonder…
When we think of here and there, we believe they are separate, when in fact, they are one in the same. And when I think that’s too much, I realize it’s just enough. Yes, my heart and soul are ready to take off again. I’ve talked about manifestation throughout this diary. There have been moments during this most recent chapter, when the vision of my future split into 2 manifestations and I am reminded of one of our greatest gifts: choice. Choose to be here. Or choose to be there…
What amazes me the most is that there are so many different realities. So many different realms and planes. Each one perfectly suited to its creator. I am thankful to remember this and to honor that sacred space for others. Golden rule. Neighborly love. Also, in other words, and plainly to the point: SELF LOVE. Selfish some say. Self-ish????? Fucking-a-right! I create it. So number-one is number-one. As long as number-one is acting on behalf of his/her integrity, and therefore acting on behalf of all others. Tricky huh? How can I spread love and light if I am not making myself happy by doing exactly what I know my heart and soul want when they want it? Again, as long as it’s coming from a place of integrity and aligned with my highest intention and life’s purpose, I cannot go wrong. Failure is not even an option.
Let’s talk about shadow work. You are here, your shadow is there. Every time though, they are connected. What you dislike in others, is actually what you are having issues with about your own self.(your shadow) Likewise, what you like in others, is what you like about yourself. These dark/light similarities may be deep down, and seemingly hidden, but they are there!
Being very familiar with this practice; and thinking that mine was on the tail end. Aye-yei-yei Sarita! A practice is a practice. Never finished. Never complete. Always paying attention to others and being in service is at the forefront of my heart. So when that’s not reciprocated, the shadow lessons are there for me.
ONLY I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT I THINK, FEEL, SAY, and DO! Thank you to Alisha Olivier-Park for this statement that has been repeated inside and out loud probably more than a million times in the last 4 years.
This past month in Colorado has been very heavy. This realm, this world pulling at me. Tugging at me like the hands of purgatory. Things. Stuff. Concerns. Even Love. Worshipping false idols all of a sudden makes more sense now than ever before. Hypocrisy has been glowing like a red light in Amsterdam. Understanding that because these observances have been so repetitive, is a perfect example of the light lighting up the shadow. (Duality. I love this life.) Yes, it is possible I may have been neglecting my higher self, and inner child during this hectic month. Did you forget I’m human too???
Everyone is a mirror. Every moment and lesson an opportunity to learn and remember. There was some intimate encounters with someone that I know in my heart I love fully and truly. One of the most bizarre and wonderful experiences I’ve ever had. Also, my practice is at a point where I feel unconditional love for everyone. (That’s hard to explain, but if you stick with your own practice of sending it out, you will see.) This person is completely opposite of me in a lot of aspects, yet uncannily similar in many other ways. I was questioning my path and where I wanted this to go. I could have easily adjusted what I want in order to explore more time and avenues with this person. Alas, in the end, our feelings apparently did not meet up in the likeness that I wanted. I struggled with the why and how come of it all. Anger and sadness boiled up from inside me. I meditated through it and learned that this encounter was in fact an opportunity and mirror for something in me that needed attention and healing.
So a note to those that run from shadows, those that are afraid of the light…there is nowhere that you can run or hide. It is a part of you and can never leave you. Taking chances and choosing roads less traveled are our gift. I’ve always felt that regret is one emotion that feels the worst. I regret nothing anymore. I’ve surrendered that. It’s when others choose to “play it safe” and not ride this fantastic ride with me that still makes me a bit sad, then I remember they are on their own pace. For as many moments as possible though, I want to share this light with everyone!!!!! I want to run and dance and play with the enthusiasm of a child. I want to experience what this play is like with YOU! I want us to be artists together and create! Maybe you’re not ready. At least not for this level of play yet. I hope some of my light you saw reflected. I hope you can feel that your heart is full of love and not to be afraid of it. I hope you can feel your own light. We are in fact, one. 😉
I love being here. I love being there. The ones that are not on board yet are only waiting for the next bus. Time that we don’t know will wake them up. It’s not my job to awaken. Only to plant and nurture what is there already.
As I leave for the next chapter in Colombia, I want to give a BIG shout out to my amazing friend and business partner Melanie Venter, who balances me out with light or dark, whatever is needed in the moment. You rock girl!!!
Thank you to all who send in messages and comments. Also to those that send in financial donations for the continuation of this blog, and the volunteering/traveling of Serenity Revolution. It means a lot and makes us very excited to see what we will do in 2016. Together we are being the change we wish to see!!! I love you all very very much!!!!!!