Gifts from adversity.
12 years ago at 2:46pm on April 13, my mother passed from melanoma. This is not about my pain or grief from that, but rather what gifts come from adversity.
In 2003 I moved to Phoenix, AZ after growing up in Colorado Springs, CO. I needed a change so I transferred with the company I was at, Ford Motor Credit, and worked in the repo department. You can imagine how fulfilling it was to field calls from people who got their vehicles repossessed.
My parents had moved here a few years before that. Feeling very stuck, unsure of my path, and depressed from all the work negativity, I looked into going back to school.
There is a really good music/sound mixing school here, and so I brought that up to my parents. My Dad having gained a trade in the construction/building industry advised me how beneficial it is to have a trade, instead of the risky music business. My Mom talked me into going to hair school reminding me of all the stylings I did for school parties, dances, etc… So I reluctantly agreed because it sounded like a much more stable option.
In December of 2005 I was set to graduate from the Aveda Institute I attended. After graduation & Christmas, I would make my move to San Diego to live in the same town as the man I was dating, would later marry, and then divorce.
On the night of my graduation party, I was styling my Mom’s hair. I came upon a black scab on her scalp and asked her when she hit her head. She replied “Oh I didn’t hit my head, that’s a mole that has always been there.”
My stomach dropped. I knew full well from studying skin diseases in hair school that this was bad.
I left for CA, and 2 weeks later got the call that it was stage four melanoma. It was scary, but the first mode we all went into was fight. For 2 more years she went through numerous treatments, doctors, chemo, different radiations, and more suffering than I ever expected or wanted to see my strong Mom go through.
This was a catalyst for sending me deep down a spiral of alcohol, drugs, and running from my own pain and suffering.
Fast forward to 2012, as I hit a sort of rock bottom in life and in my marriage, my dear friend Kelli who worked beside me in the salon, recommended me to my first spiritual teacher, Alisha. It was through this connection and help that I was able to completely heal from her passing, past trauma from childhood, and many more issues.
This healing path opened up a deep calling and passion in me. I NEVER expected to be guiding others, or doing what I am doing today for work. It all unfolded so naturally as soon as I started working on myself.
Now you can see how all the dominoes were exactly in place to lead me to the deep joy, peace, and abundance that I feel and that I am today. This path was never a choice, or something that I magically manifested. I kept asking for and following what would be best for my own heart & soul. What would fill me up the most.
If my Mom hadn’t talked me into hair school, I would have never found the cancer. Maybe she wouldn’t have lived for two more years. And for sure, I would have never met Kelli, who lead me to Alisha.
In the face of adversity, and incredibly challenging times, please do what fills you up. Follow what your heart & soul need. Listen to your inner guidance about how to get help. ASK for help. Nobody can do this alone. I still talk with my second teacher and Spiritual Mamma on a regular basis.
Trying to figure out what you’re going to do, or how it will all end up is pointless. We can and never will truly know these things, so the anxiety they bring on is only harming you.
What will fill you up today? What sets your heart & soul on fire? What step can you take today to connect with your inner guidance system? Trust the universe has your back. The more you listen, trust, and follow your gut instincts, the easier your path will be.
I hope this helps you navigate with a little less suffering, and more hope. Please reach out if you need someone to listen or hold a light for you.
All my tender Love,